Blue Monday
by c00kiefic
Summary: All he wants is closure, a Post Vegas Hyde character piece. One shot, Angst!


Blue Monday.

All he wants is closure. A Post Vegas Hyde character piece. ONE SHOT!

Title is from one of my favorite songs, Blue Monday by New Order. Takes place sometime in season 8, but it's not tied to any specific episode.

I'm not going to explain this, because I think it speaks for itself, but it might be hard for some people to read so uh, read with caution, I guess.

* * *

Sometimes Hyde can't believe how far he's fallen really. One day he was fine, less pissed off, had a girlfriend who loved him, had a makeshift family that cared about him, but somewhere something went horribly wrong and he lost nearly everything. Sure, he still had the Formans, but he knows they don't really trust him anymore. He can't blame them though. He doesn't trust himself. 

At home, he's got a wife. A wife with bleached blonde hair and a fondness for tube tops and short shorts, who needs him to argue with her in order to get hot, who, at night, tells him how much of a bitch his ex is. Out of his mouth, words like yeah and uh huh come out, but in the end, he tells her to shut up and go to sleep, because it's all he can do to stop himself from thinking about her.

Jackie doesn't even look at him in the eye anymore. Sometimes, he'll see her look everywhere except him when they're in the basement. He's also noticed that she won't be in the same room as him unless someone else is there to play buffer between them, and even then, she'll find an excuse to leave as quickly as she can. Even when he burns her, to make her react, to say, do anything, all he gets is the tiniest hint of a lip quiver and that's it. Got nothing? He'll say, crossing his arms and giving a smug grin. She just hunches her shoulders up and then lets out a breath before leaving, telling everyone else that she'll see them later.

Tonight, she's on a date with some guy she met at the mall. Hyde doesn't know the guys name, or what he does, or even what he looks like, but he can picture him fine enough in his imagination. He's most likely tall, pretty, somewhat vapid, a real Kelso.

It doesn't even cross his mind that the guy might be like him.

It's all this and more that makes Hyde lose it during one of Sam's private lap dances. He's got his hands on her ass, and all he can do is wish it was Jackie's ass he's squeezing, and something inside him snaps and he pushes Sam off, grabs his car keys and leaves without a word.

He eventually finds a seedy hotel in Milwaukee where he checks in for the night. At first, all he wants to do is go down to the liquor store he saw a few blocks away when he first arrived, get a bottle of cheap whiskey, head back to his room and drink until he feels nothing for Jackie Burkhart anymore.

The only problem with this plan is that he's still horny from earlier, and he needs to fuck something soon. More to the point, he needs to fuck Jackie.

And that's when it hits him. So, he gets his whiskey and as soon as he gets to his room, he finds the phone book and calls the first escort service he finds, asks for petite, long haired, brunette with olive skin and toned legs and waits for her to arrive.

Before he hangs up, he tells them to make sure she's wearing a cheerleading outfit.

He knows what he's about to do is one of the worst ideas he's ever had, but he figures he's pulled ten for ten lately and one more screw up isn't going to change anything, in fact, this might actually make it somewhat better, because as soon as he does this, he'll be able to get on with his life. He needs his closure, and he needs it now.

He knows what he's doing is technically adultery, but it's not like Sam's been all that faithful to him. He's seen the love bites that aren't his, smelled the unmistakable scent of other men on her. At least, that's how he rationalizes it.

Finally, just about the time he's about to give up that the hooker will arrive, the door knocks.

He answers the door and stares at the whore for a good minute. Her hair is long and dark, but her eyes are brown. He should have said he wanted someone with either green or blue eyes, because he knows he's not going to find a girl with both, at least not at this hour, but the rest of her is good. She's hot enough that he knows he'll at the very least be able to get off.

"Come in, Jackie."

The whore is smart enough not to argue with him over using the wrong name. Instead, she just walks in and asks him what he wants.

"Do a cheer." He tells her.

The whore nods and Hyde goes to sit on the bed. He unzips his jeans and grabs his dick while the Jackie look alike starts cheering in front of him.

"Kick your legs up more." He orders.

The whore is flexible enough to be able to do this with no problem, and stroking himself raw, using nothing but pre cum for lube, but the pain is good.

The pain means he can still feel.

"Take off the shorts." He orders.

She pulls down her under shorts, and he's able to look at her bare ass and pussy when flips up her skirt when she does one of her little kicks. He stands up, pulls his jeans off, rolls on the condom, grabs the whore by her waist and is inside her before either of them can blink. She's urging him on though, telling him to go on, to fuck her just like that. He tells her to shut up.

The whore complies, and says nothing while he pounds into her, her bent over a chair, him looking at himself as he fucks this stranger he keeps calling Jackie in the mirror. Her eyes pop open and she looks right into his through the mirror, and all he can see now is that her eyes are brown.

"Close your eyes." He commands. "Keep them closed."

He screams out Jackie's name when he comes and pulls out, not caring if the whore he's just fucked in Jackie's place found her own release, because it's not Jackie, and fuck if he cares about anyone the way he cares about her. If it was Jackie, he would have made damn sure she got off before he did, but this a cheap whore he's just fucked and fuck if he cares about them.

He throws the money at her and orders her to get out. She scrambles out the door and he slams it behind her and goes to the table where the whiskey is sitting in the brown paper bag. He starts drinking.

He's sitting on the floor of the hotel room, staring at the mirror, wondering what he just did. I can't believe I cheated, he thinks. But it's not the stripper at the Forman's he's thinking of, it's the mismatched eyed brunette that wormed her way into his heart, who still has it in her tiny hands and won't give it back.

It's three fourths of the bottle later when he realizes that he doesn't want her to give it back. He wants her to have it, because she's the only one who ever made him feel good about himself, who ever believed in him, who understood him, who knew what it was like to be abandoned, because she was abandoned too.

When he dials the phone again, he's not thinking about what time it is, or if he'll wake her up, or if she'll even talk to him. All he's thinking is that he's got to talk to her.

He's got to tell her that he loves her, and that he's sorry. He's got to beg for forgiveness, even if Hyde usually never begs.

"Steven?" She asks on the other end of the line. "What are you doing calling me?"

"Jackie bluuuuuuuuuuuuuue"

"Are you drunk?" She asks.

He laughs, "Kinda, I'm uh, calling cause uh, I just um, I'm really, really, fuck." He says when he drops the receiver. He quickly picks it back up and continues with his inane babbling.

"Steven, you're not at some bar are you?"

"Nope, hotel." He says. "In 'waukee."

"Oh god." Jackie mutters on the other end. "Where's your stripper wife?"

"I dunno." Hyde says. "Home I guess, or work, or out."

"So call her." Jackie says impatiently.

"Don't wanna." Hyde says. "Wanna talk to you. Only wanna talk to you. Only wanna dance and kiss and sex with and eat and drink and whatever else you wanna do, Jackie."

"How,"

"'mantic?" Hyde supplies.

"You call calling me at one in the morning from a sleazy hotel in Milwaukee, drunk; to tell me that you love me is romantic?" Jackie asks, clearly perplexed at her ex's actions.

"Yep." He replies.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"That's why I love you." He slurs. "'Cause you're honest."

"And yet, you married another woman." Jackie says. "It kind of ruins the whole drunken I love yous."

"Not if I mean it." Hyde argues. "I wanna see you. Wanna see your eyes, can I come over?"

"You're in no shape to drive." Jackie tells him. "Just sleep it off and hopefully you'll forget all about this and things will go back to normal."

"But things aren't normal." Hyde says to her. "They ain't normal, Jackie, you don't talk to me. Why don't you talk to me?"

"I'm talking to you right now aren't I?"

Hyde can't find an argument for that, so he says nothing. After a minute and a half of silence, it's Jackie who breaks the silence.

"Fine." She huffs. "Tell me where you are."

He has to go outside to look at the marquee to remember the name of the hotel, but when he gives it to her; she says she'll be there in an hour.

He has an hour to think about what he's going to say to her, an hour to get ready for her arrival, he should shower, get the stench of whiskey and sex off him, to clean up the room, but he can't seem to move from the floor. So he stays there and waits.

When she comes in, she's holding a coffee in a to go cup and he can tell by the look in her eyes that she's disappointed in him, not just for everything that's happened in the last few months, but for right here, right now. He follows her eyes as she scans the room, eventually landing on the condom that he had thrown on the floor while he was telling the whore to get out.

"Oh, Steven." The disappointment in her voice is palpable.

"I thought." He's still too drunk to have this conversation. He takes a drink of the coffee and it manages to make him feel slightly better, but not enough. Jackie's still standing by the door, refusing to sit down. He drinks the coffee until he can see again.

"I thought that if I did it with someone then it'd make things better, wanted you out of my system, but she had the wrong eyes."

Jackie shakes her head and scowls. "First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about. Second, it looks to me like you were able to do the deed, so what, having sex with a stripper wasn't enough for you?"

"No, you don't understand!" Hyde shouts, making Jackie back up a little bit. "I only did it because I missed you! I'm really sorry, I love you."

"It's still a little late for that." Jackie says. "Really late."

"No." Hyde says. "It can't be."

Jackie bends down on the floor and takes off his sunglasses. "Steven, it is."

"But I love you." Hyde tells her, gripping her arms to make her stay.

"Oh, I know that, Steven, but that doesn't change anything, don't you see?"

"I only see you." Hyde says.

"Steven, you're drunk and upset and I don't know what to do anymore, but I do know that I can't do this again. I just can't." She pulls away and moves back a step.

"Get some sleep, Steven."

"What am I supposed to do without you?" He asks.

"Live your life." Jackie tells him. "Tell the stripper you're not happy and make her go back to Vegas, and then get your life together I guess. It's what I did." Her hand is on the door knob and she's about to leave.

"I love you!" He nearly yells.

"I know, and I love you too." Jackie says with a soft but sincere smile. "Get some sleep."

He watches her leave and finally, he's able get up off the floor. He takes a quick shower and climbs into the bed and takes Jackie's advice and sleeps.

He's not sure what he's going to do the next morning, but he knows that he just got the closure he originally wanted. It hurts like hell, but the pain is good.

The pain means he's alive.

* * *

I don't think I'm going to write more, so this is complete, but I might write more Post Vegas Hyde one shots, because he fascinates me. 

Please leave a review, as they make me feel pretty.


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